Don't get it twisted, I am not a monk.
I am not an overly optimistic guy who says he feels good when things aren't actually so.
Truth be told, I always used to look at life as something of a competition.
I had an "if you are not for me, get out of the way" kind of attitude towards life.
So you could imagine the daily battles I attracted due to my focus of life.
I expected to fight m way, to bulldozer my way to the things I wanted, and a fight I got. Until I got used to the feeling of "accomplishment" I felt, bruised and blooded and burn at the end of my run.
Feelings of anger and frustration and hurt and sadness, to name few, where my closest friends and where, to me, that all too familiar feeling of "success."
Going about life this way was tiring - emotionally, mentally and therefore physically, but I felt that that was the only way to go, I mean all the guys used to celebrate going about that way at the monastic school I attended, and since I wanted to belong - thanks to peer pressure - I confirmed to their way of doing things.
And it worked, even though the consciences weren't so desirable. When I so they community of "they" work at achieving things, they used these "compete for everything" tactics and they got them. So surely I must be doing something right?
Not considering that they got what they got because they were in vibrational harmony with the thing they wanted - the process was irrelevant. What IS relevant that you believe the process will produce the results you want.
It's all about faith in the results when you boil down to it.
Faith that you have promising results or Faith that you will receive unfavorable results.
"Whether you think you can or think you cannot, either way you are right" - Henry Ford
You see, I didn't know that. I just thought I do the thing and I will get the same outcome as the other guy.
Talk about missing the plot.
So to put it in short, I was an angry, post-apartheid, young, educated black kid, with parents going through a divorce, from the famous township of Soweto, fighting for everything.
Even fighting for the peace I wanted my heart to experience. Not knowing that I was pushing it further away from me.
Life was hard only because I believed it was.
And what I believe becomes my reality.
My reality becomes my experience.
I then used this experience as proof to others of how hard life was.
I never knew that life was as limited as my mind could imagine & belief.
How my dominant thoughts I think create my reality and how by focusing on more of the things I loved, I then attract ways I can take to receive them.
I also thought, due to my sinful ways and the curse filled tongue I carried, certain "good" things in life I was not worthy of.
There I was, limiting my success and all the good, luxurious things I wanted in life with not only my thoughts of not deserving but also the negative vibration I was in 90% of the time.
How can I expect positive things to come to me when I myself was not in a positive vibration. We have to understand that we are living in a world of vibration, and that like vibration attracts like vibration.
So if we want good things to come our way, we need to find ways and any excuse to keep ourselves in a good, positive vibration, even if it is by determined positive thinking.
The world, God, Source Energy, response to our vibration (be it our mood, dominant thoughts, words or action) and produces for us the events and circumstances and people and things that were in harmony with that vibration.
How aligned are you to the thing you want?
But that I mean, how often do you feel the feelings you would feel of the thing you want once you have received it?
Feelings of: Joy; Happiness; Ease; Accomplishment; Prosperity; Love; Hope; Peace; etc.
It's when you feel good that good things come, it's not the other way around (of having received the thing you want and THEN feeling good).
Yet there was something gay, pun intended, about having feeling good. Maybe that's why most of the homosexuals I know are so successful?
Nonetheless I struggled with that concept until I realized that I needed to change for change to happen and began working on myself and my perceptive of life.
(c) Musawenkosi Tshoaele, 2010. All rights reserved.