Monday, February 14, 2011

How Do You Love When You Don’t Love?

At one seminar where I was speaking on the concept of proactivity, a man came up and said, “Stephen, I like what you are saying.

“But every situation is so different. Look at my marriage. I’m really worried.

“My wife and I don’t have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t love me. What can I do?”

“The feeling isn’t there anymore?” I asked.

“That’s right,” he reaffirmed. “And we have three children we’re really concerned about. What do you suggest?”

“Love her,” I replied.

“I told you, the feeling just isn’t there anymore.”

“Love her.”

“You don’t understand. The feeling of love just isn’t there.”

“Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.”

“But how do you love when you don’t love?”

“My friend, love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is a fruit of love, the verb.

“So love her.

“Serve her.


“Listen to her.



“Affirm her.

“Are you willing to do that?”

Dr. Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People my Valentine’s Gift as a THANK YOU from Me to You.

© Musawenkosi Tshoaele, 2011


covnitkepr1 said...

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Musa said...

That is mighty kind of you Sir!

Thanx for the invite ;)