What is, "creating by default"?
It is setting into motion the creation of something that you really do not want, by giving your attention, or focus of thought, to it until it is created, and MUCH OF WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING WOULD FALL INTO THAT CATEGORY.
The usual response when one hears for the first time that they are the creator of their life experience and that all that they are experiencing, without exception, is by their own doing is,
"How can that be? I would not have created this thing that I do not want."