Today, at least this morning, was one of those days.
Maybe it was the upsetting news I heard of the passing of my grandma’s brother.
How do you tell someone that their brother has died?
We, my aunts (grandma has 3 daughters and 2 sons) and my cousin and I, began with a hymn and asked gogo (Zulu for grandmother) to pray for us.
Upon gogo's completion of her prayer, one of her daughters, my mom, began praying.
Asking God for the strength to inform gogo on the “loss” (we never end or die, we only change form from the physical to the spiritual – it doesn’t mean it won’t hurt though) of her brother.
The events that followed I feel are too private and intimate for this public platform and I guess I carried that heaviness with me to bed.
Could barely practice The Law and The Promise.
So it’s not surprising that I woke up with a heavy heart.
So I woke at 5 am and did my 15 minute meditation and after freshening up began working on my next EzineArticle submission.
My heart wasn’t in the right place so I told gran and the helper (ma had already left for work and my sister was at The University of Pretoria) that I’ll be going out.
And so I took a long drive up to my father’s place and began having a verbal talk with God while I was on the road, to the obvious intrigue of the onlookers I was driving past of course.
It was a lengthy but heartfelt talk with me pouring out my concerns and my heartaches and my challenges.
I don’t think most of us do that kind of prayer anymore, where we really get into the gist of it and not only say a prayer out of memory, as a ritual and without meaning.
On my arrival I found, as expected, that Dad was also not home (my other home – divorced) so I picked up the two shirts he left for me and drove down to go give my girlfriend the lunch I packed for her.
On the way back home I was inspired (this is usually what I refer to as God “talking back to me,” in the form of inspiration, intuition, sixth sense, hunch, gut feeling, idea, etc) to try out this game I'm about to tell you.
The “I Am Most Happiest When I” game.
Since my brain will give me the answer to any question I ask, it will even make up one on the spot if it had to, I used this to my advantage.
I began the sentence with “I Am Most Happiest When I...” and my brain came up with an answer, “...when I witness beautiful landscapes.”
I asked myself again, “I Am Most Happiest When I...” too which I replied, “...when I am with people who love me unconditionally.”
And that was when a smile began to creep into my lips.
I could have sworn I heard God celebrating that one smile because She knew it would snowball into a laugh if I kept going at my (our) game.
And it did.
Over the course of the day my mood began to improve, I made more jokes on my IMs and social networks, other people began to receive me well.
It was a beautiful day because I persisted in making it so.
I am more at peace now than I was before the game, and I wish you a happy day with the conscious and committed use of God and this “I Am Most Happiest When I” game God has given to me so I can share it with you.
God bless you.
And I love you,
PS: Thrive In The State of Spiritual Ecstasy Ntate Ramphomane.